shopping has never been so stressful

well, today was the big day. i finally went shopping (with some trusty personal shoppers - thanks, ladies!) for clothes that fit.

it was a very overwhelming experience. now 60 pounds down, it is very hard to see myself in this "new" way. i have a hard time believing smaller sizes fit and that it does not look too tight. luckily, i had two very supportive companions helping me out. i think i got the hang of it by the end of the afternoon.

here is what i got...

white shirt & kelly green pants - gap

 jeans - gap

teal sweater & jeans - nordstrom

 black skirt & purple tank - nordstrom

black blazer - nordstrom

 pink sweater - nordstrom

cream cardigan & denim button-up - nordstrom

black pants - the limited

additionally, i bought a pair of skinny jeans that are being hemmed at nordstrom and hopefully can be picked up before the end of this coming week. 

did i spend a lot of money? yes. much more than i anticipated. i figure, though, that most of the pieces i got can be mixed and matched so i should get a lot of use out of everything. the only purchase i am still debating over is the pink sweater. it was the priciest item AND it is cashmere which means dry clean only - i hate clothes that are dry clean only. then again, the skirt is too so i will see how i feel over the next week.

and, as i promised jacob, i did not buy shoes, purses or jewelry.

sorry about the lighting, the flash on the camera was making my eyes look wonky. : )

on the up & up

this has been an icky week - i have been sick since last thursday night and only just started feeling better today. being sick is the WORST. i left school early on friday, stayed home monday, and left early again yesterday. i finally went to the doctor and aside from suggesting that i take my migraine medicine, he did not have a definite reason as to why i was feeling so bad. luckily, taking the migraine medicine seemed to work and i feel (mostly) like myself again. : )

weight-wise, i was up again on saturday. THOSE FREAKIN' THREE POUNDS. even though i was sick, i still had an appetite and was eating pretty normally. i noticed this morning the number was down again so i hope i can maintain it until saturday. jacob and i did go for a walk tonight. it was nice to get outside for a bit. 

remember that black dress from the other week? well, i went back to target and got it in blue. 

pardon the hair and glasses, i was still feeling a bit "off" when i was getting ready. 

my first personal training session is tomorrow with melvin at la fitness. my only request will be for him not to make me cry.

looking good, billy ray! feeling good, louis!

last week was a very good week.

something "clicked" and i was able to make it to this past saturday for an amazing weigh-in. as i already posted this weekend, i was down 4.4 lb and back into the 140's. woo hoo!

i talked with my leader about a goal weight and she told me to think about it over the next week.what a difficult decision to make! when i joined la fitness last week, the personal trainer gave me a number but my leader (not to mention me!) thinks it is not realistic. what to do!?

do i go for the lower number or the one that is maintainable? UGH.

i am proud of all my activity that i have been doing - personal training, zumba, soccer, walking - so much more than i did all summer.

me this week.

new dress from target! :)

hoping more trick-or-treaters show up this year than last - pretty sure the biggest group we had was a bunch of high schoolers!

back on track

so, yes, i was up 0.8 last saturday but i am already doing better and weighed back in the 140s this morning. thank you to all of you who provided such supportive comments and advice. it is nice to know how many of you read my silly little blog. it means a tremendous amount to me.

i had a lovely weekend hanging out with my parents. we did some shopping (like always!) and i actually cooked dinner for them on saturday. it is always intimidating to cook for my mom because to me, she is the best cook in the world (jacob is a very close second). BUT, she had lots of compliments to give about the fajitas which made me feel good. can you tell i am a mama's girl? : )

during my day off last friday, i decided to join la fitness. i have a friend who belongs and i thought it would be a good idea to go to a gym with someone. i am having a personal fitness assessment tomorrow night and i am going to try zumba...i am a little nervous about it. i would not call myself a stellar dancer nor someone with tons of rhythm so i will just keep my fingers crossed that i do not make too big of a fool of myself.

here is to staying on the right path! i am feeling very motivated again. jacob and i went on a 2.57 mile walk tonight (though we did get dessert afterwards...). new pictures:

looking forward to a massage on wednesday (woo hoo!), more chiropractor visits for my messed up neck and back (did i tell you all that i crashed and totaled my car???) and some halloween parties this weekend.

a bit in the doldrums

as i have stated recently, i am just not doing a good job with this journey lately.

call it stress...laziness...fatigue...indifference...?

i was down a pound on saturday which i should have been happy about. but i still had the other two pounds that i had gained on my mind. then i had birthday cake on sunday...and buffalo wild wings on monday...and i am currently avoiding the scale.

i got to figure this out. i am so close to being done, it would be a shame (and incredibly disheartening) to end it now.

here is me on day one of conferences.

 full day of conferences tomorrow, mea events on thursday and i will be FREE on friday. parents are coming to town so "healthy eating" will once again be my downfall...

frustration station revisited

two posts in two days might be a new record.

but what did i do last night after we got home from running errands? ate. and ate. and ate. even though i used all my points up at dinner.

what is the deal?!?!?!

i literally could not resist the monster cookies leftover from football sunday (jacob's step-mom left us some) not to mention...ALL. THE. KETTLE. CORN.

i am SO disappointed in myself. and we all know that someone being disappointed with you is SO MUCH WORSE than someone just being mad at you.

and then i step on the scale in the morning expecting results...

UGH.

i feel like i am sabotaging myself. i worked hard for ten months and i feel like i am throwing it all away. and for what? cookies? dumb. it is so dumb.

i am so proud of what i have accomplished and i really need a turnaround in my attitude. a sorority sister - what up, missy! - suggested bob harper's "the skinny rules" and i ordered it last night. she has lost a ton of weight too so i figure she knows what she is talking about!

just trying to think positive (and lovely) thoughts. send your vibes my way!

i am my own worst enemy

good morning.

i want to complain, "woe is me" but i know that the struggles i have been experiencing of late are totally, completely, 100% my fault.

i recently have been stuck in this mindset of "i am sick of not eating what i want to eat when i want to eat it so i am going to eat it anyhow even if i do not have any points left and it is wednesday and i somehow have to make it until saturday."

phew. that was a lot to get off my chest.

but i feel like i have to be honest about where i am right now before i can move forward and do something different. until you admit there is a problem you cannot fix it, right? 

so. i have a problem. 

i am eating even when i run out of points. i am not being careful about what i order when i go out to restaurants. i am not being a thoughtful planner about my meals. 

my new plan of attack is to use my "extra" points on the weekends and just use them sparingly the rest of the week. i have also been really getting into earning activity points through my activelink. it plans a program for you with daily goals and i get so competitive with myself to reach (or exceed) 100% everyday. i want to continue challenging myself to be active. i want to challenge myself to have more self-control with my meals. i also think i need to eat more at breakfast and less at lunch. i use too many points midday! lastly, i want to try and get through friday without having a "treat" at school - those doughnuts are deadly and not very filling.

other than that, i had an AMAZING weekend. i went with friends to sever's corn maze down in shakopee. we made our way through the maze, jumped on some "pillows," raced through a corn pit, visited the petting zoo, and shot some pumpkins. i had dinner with jacob at burger jones for his friend's birthday and i did NOT order a burger but some chicken. yesterday, i played two soccer games and then we entertained lots of folks during the football games. we were so busy that time just seemed to get away and now here i am back at work on monday. i am excited for u of m homecoming this upcoming weekend though we have to skip the parade this year due to jacob's work schedule. he is bummed that he is missing it but i am excited that we can at least go to the football game. 

here is me, up three pounds from last week.

now, i know that most of you are probably thinking, 'shut up, three pounds is not a big deal and you look the same so why are you making a big deal about it?' - which i totally agree with! and in the overall journey of weight loss, ups and downs are normal. but it is still frustrating! and this is my outlet for complaining so i have said what i needed to say and i shall move onwards. 

here is to a positive weigh-in this coming saturday! and by positive, i of course mean negative, as in losing. so confusing. : )