i fell off the wagon

and i fell hard.

the first part of my winter break was great - i ate super well at both christmas celebrations i attended and even got to enjoy some sweet treats. 

but then we went to wisconsin.

we ate out. my mom cooked. i "baked." 

it was bad. i ate everything in sight. i seriously think i gained five or more pounds while we were there. 

it was really frustrating. it made me think about what happens once i reach my goal. if i can gain five pounds in a week, how fast could i gain back everything if i am not careful??? 

i cried. 

do not judge me.

so that got me thinking - it has been one year since i started this journey. one whole year of really hard work and great weigh-in's and frustrating weeks of gaining and I DO NOT WANT TO QUIT. there. i said it. 

how do i get back on track? easy. grocery shop. stop eating candy (and cookies. and basically anything that was in a stocking). go back to the gym. 

all very basic steps that sometimes seem SO hard to take.

"resolutions" are great in theory but i never seem to follow through when i make one. i never actually made a resolution to lose weight last year, i just promised myself that i would finally do something about it. i want to continue working on me in 2013. 

i would like to set some goals for myself, both short- and long-term:

1. reach my goal weight. and...drumroll please...i am ready to share that with all of you. i started last year at 206.6 pounds (GROSS). i would like to stop at 135 pounds. that would put me around 70 pounds of total weight loss. and then i want to KEEP IT OFF.
2. go to the gym 12 times a month in order to receive a $20 reimbursement from my health insurance. that would make my gym fee roughly $5. that is a ridiculous deal. i will also continue my personal training sessions but i pay separately for those. FYI - i am liking kenzie, the new trainer, much better than the old devil trainer.
3. manage money better. without a car loan to pay every month, i have no excuse not to be putting money into my savings account. i would like to have a decent amount stockpiled as a "just in case."
4. keep our house clean. we are terrible about cleaning the house. we go way too long between cleaning sessions and the ones that we have are usually only because people are coming over. i have seen a lot of cleaning schedules on pinterest and hope to find something that fits us.

i could probably list tons more but i want to feel like i can actually accomplish all of them, which means  capping the list (at least for now). since i am not calling them "resolutions," i suppose that i could add more at a later date. 

i just have to remember...

i truly did enjoy my time off. it was great to lounge in comfy pants all day and not worry about work. i got to watch the first season of "modern family." i know, i am late to the party. it was pretty hilarious. i got to see my nieces twice while they were in town, which is always a treat. we are *hopefully* going to drive down to kentucky over the summer for an extended visit. besides going to arizona for my cousin's wedding, that would probably be the only other trip we get to take. 

random side-note: have any of you ever used rosetta stone or some other language program? i am thinking about making "relearn spanish" my summer project but i am not interested in paying for or attending classes somewhere. i would prefer to do something from the comfort of my couch. : )

sorry this is so long. i am now rambling. i will just end with new pictures.