i am my own worst enemy

good morning.

i want to complain, "woe is me" but i know that the struggles i have been experiencing of late are totally, completely, 100% my fault.

i recently have been stuck in this mindset of "i am sick of not eating what i want to eat when i want to eat it so i am going to eat it anyhow even if i do not have any points left and it is wednesday and i somehow have to make it until saturday."

phew. that was a lot to get off my chest.

but i feel like i have to be honest about where i am right now before i can move forward and do something different. until you admit there is a problem you cannot fix it, right? 

so. i have a problem. 

i am eating even when i run out of points. i am not being careful about what i order when i go out to restaurants. i am not being a thoughtful planner about my meals. 

my new plan of attack is to use my "extra" points on the weekends and just use them sparingly the rest of the week. i have also been really getting into earning activity points through my activelink. it plans a program for you with daily goals and i get so competitive with myself to reach (or exceed) 100% everyday. i want to continue challenging myself to be active. i want to challenge myself to have more self-control with my meals. i also think i need to eat more at breakfast and less at lunch. i use too many points midday! lastly, i want to try and get through friday without having a "treat" at school - those doughnuts are deadly and not very filling.

other than that, i had an AMAZING weekend. i went with friends to sever's corn maze down in shakopee. we made our way through the maze, jumped on some "pillows," raced through a corn pit, visited the petting zoo, and shot some pumpkins. i had dinner with jacob at burger jones for his friend's birthday and i did NOT order a burger but some chicken. yesterday, i played two soccer games and then we entertained lots of folks during the football games. we were so busy that time just seemed to get away and now here i am back at work on monday. i am excited for u of m homecoming this upcoming weekend though we have to skip the parade this year due to jacob's work schedule. he is bummed that he is missing it but i am excited that we can at least go to the football game. 

here is me, up three pounds from last week.

now, i know that most of you are probably thinking, 'shut up, three pounds is not a big deal and you look the same so why are you making a big deal about it?' - which i totally agree with! and in the overall journey of weight loss, ups and downs are normal. but it is still frustrating! and this is my outlet for complaining so i have said what i needed to say and i shall move onwards. 

here is to a positive weigh-in this coming saturday! and by positive, i of course mean negative, as in losing. so confusing. : )